FF7 - Alternate Snippets
by talinsquall
Summary: Cloud helps SOLDIER. Cid woos Vincent with pancakes. Yazoo steals. Kadaj helps. Turks get back what's theirs. Reno meets Cloud in a church. Fight doesn't end like the game. No rolling barrels here. Rufus/Cloud, Cid/Vincent, Reno/Yazoo, Tseng/Kadaj, Cloud/Reno. AU, OOC, Non-Canon, Homosexuality, Sexual Situations, Gun Violence, Physical Violence, Swearing, Mpreg


A/N: This stuff has been swimming around my brain for a while. Writing them down so I can move on to other things.

Fandom: Final Fantasy 7

Summary: Cloud helps SOLDIER. Cid woos Vincent with pancakes. Yazoo steals. Kadaj helps. Turks get back what's theirs. Reno meets Cloud in a church. Fight doesn't end like the game. No rolling barrels here.

Pairings: Rufus/Cloud, Cid/Vincent, Reno/Yazoo, Tseng/Kadaj, Cloud/Reno

Warnings: AU, OOC, Non-Canon, Homosexuality, Sexual Situations, Gun Violence, Physical Violence, Swearing, Mpreg (Vincent is Sephiroth's & the Remnants' father in my head canon.)

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this fan fiction. In certain cases incidents, characters and timelines have been changed for dramatic purposes. Certain characters may be composites, or entirely fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

XXX

**FF7 - Alternate Snippets**

XXX

(Rufus/Cloud)

Vice-President Rufus idly swung in his chair as another interminable day of his Junon exile passed by. "If there is nothing else, Gentlemen. I will retire to my suite. My alcohol misses me."

Tseng laid a firm hand on Rufus's shoulder. "One more item on the docket, Sir. Since Heidegger is on vacation, the approval of the annual SOLDIER budget falls to you."

Rufus smoothed his blond hair back. "What do I care about Hojo's muscled lab rats? They do nothing for me. Why should I do anything for them? Heidegger already cut their monthly funding by a quarter. Perhaps I should make it half. SOLDIERs are enhanced to withstand anything. Why the need for more armor?"

Tseng signaled to Rude standing by the door. "General Sephiroth has thought of more changes to the budget. Allow their chosen spokesperson in."

Ready to lambast a hardened warrior, Rufus was astonished to spy a diminutive infantryman walk tentatively in. "By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes."

The teen seemed to gather his courage and spoke. His voice was as soft and gentle as his face was porcelain perfection. "Vice-President Shinra, why? Why are you planning to take away more of SOLDIER's funding? Why?"

Instead of answering the vision before him, Rufus placed a call and waited to hear General Sephiroth's smug voice in his ear. "Hello, Vice-President Shinra. Do you like the SOLDIER mascot?"

Rufus managed to show the nervous young man a weak half-smile as he growled into the receiver. "I hope your beloved Puppy gets hit by a freight train."

Sephiroth petted his love's head as Zack snuggled against his superior. "Not a truck?"

Rufus's smile changed to a grimace. "Zack is Second Class. It would hurt the truck more than him. I'm keeping my present. Your bloated annual budget is approved. Two new training facilities? Hubris, General."

Sephiroth kissed Zack's temple. "Unlike most of Shinra, I know the worth of my men. The boy standing in front of you, Cloud Strife, wishes to be a SOLDIER with all his heart. If you wish to keep him, you will have to break it."

Rufus hung up on the General. "Or change his mind."

The Vice-President frightened the teen by jumping up and striding towards him. "No, no, Baby. Don't shy away. I'm here to help you, not hurt you. If you'll let me."

An uncertain Cloud glanced around the room. "I'm not supposed to talk freely with you. You're a bad man. You were so bad your father sent you to Junon."

Before Rufus could start ranting about the President, Reno stepped from the shadows. "Hey, Spiky. Seems like ya grew a whole inch since I last saw you. We're friends. Right?"

Rufus's frozen heart melted under the shine of Cloud's welcoming smile. "Yeah, Reno. Aces all the way."

Reno smiled back to his naive friend. "The Vice-President did do wrong to the President, but it was to save the Turks. If Rufus didn't help us, we would all be dead. Swear."

Cloud's smile turned upside down. "Oh, that's different. I'm confused. All my hopes rest with Shinra, but it's so awful to its own employees. Maybe I should go home to Nibelheim. I can make beer with Tifa."

Rufus ignored the surprised boy's squirming as he held the petite body to his own. "No. I haven't felt the sun on my face for so long. Don't leave me to rot in the darkness again."

Unable to wiggle free, and not knowing what to do, Cloud hid his blushing face against Rufus's chest. "Zack warned me about how you treat your girlfriends and boyfriends. You're nice until you get what you want, then you're mean, and they disappear. I don't want to disappear."

Rufus patted Cloud's back. "Girlfriends and boyfriends? How quaint. They were paid whores, Baby. We all got what we wanted and Father threw out the trash once I was done with it. No tears, Cloud. My black heart can only take so much in one day."

Cloud sniffled. "Not trash. They were people as loved by the Gods as you or me."

Rufus kissed a falling tear from Cloud's face. "So you say. I never deal with religion. It doesn't earn me anything. What's the matter, Baby? You act like you've never been kissed."

If possible, Cloud's cheeks became even rosier as he bit his lip and looked away. "I hadn't."

Reno felt the need to speak as a joyful Rufus smooched Cloud's pink lips. "Sixteen! Cloud's sixteen, Sir!"

Rufus nearly threw Cloud into Reno's arms. The tycoon hissed like a snake as he viewed Cloud's innocent eyes and plump moist lips. "Sixteen… There's the rub. I can either attempt to hide you until your next birthday or marry you now and have Father come down on my head for being lead around by my dick."

Cloud hid against Reno. "What's going on? I don't understand. I should leave. I'm leaving. I can catch the last transport."

The teen yiped as Rufus tackled him at the door. "Let me go! Forget about me, Sir. It's best for the both of us."

Rufus shimmied up until he could kiss Cloud's sad face. "The first thing you should know about your husband is I never do what is best for me."

Cloud scrunched himself into a fetal position. "I want my Mama and Zack! I'm not getting married without them."

Tseng yanked Rufus from Cloud. "Zack is on his way to Nibelheim to pick up your Mama. They should arrive here tomorrow morning."

Reno gently straightened Cloud and helped him up. "I'll keep you company until then, Spiky."

Cloud held Reno's hand. "All I hear is the bad about Rufus. Tell me the good. If he's to be the father of my babies, I want to make sure I made the right choice."

Rufus paused while making his way to his desk. "Babies? Cloud-"

Tseng held his phone up. If possible, Sephiroth's voice was more smug than before. "The true reason Cloud would never have made it in SOLDIER. Bearers should be cherished, not sent out to die for Shinra's gain."

Rufus glared at the phone. "I'll sign-off on the improvements to the First Class Training Room. Any more extravagant requests will have to wait until my first child is born. Yes, it will probably be a whole year and a half away. Suck it, General."

Rufus was surprised as small fists beat against his back. "What a feisty baby I have."

Cloud's lower lip stuck out as he pounded away. "Quit making decisions about my life! I want to be a SOLDIER!"

A grinning Rufus trapped Cloud's arms against his chest. "You will be something much better, Cloud. You will be the President's spouse. The Planet will bow at your feet. Your children will want for nothing."

Cloud shivered with fear. "Except a safe place. Your father hates poor, low class, country trash. I'm all the above. Even if we marry, I'll probably be killed."

Rufus kissed his doubting new love and handed him over to Reno. "Show Cloud to the guest bedroom. I'll see you at dinner."

Cloud halted at the door. "I still don't fully understand what's going on. All I know is that you need love and I'll try my best to give it to you. Don't break my heart, Rufus. Don't let me down."

Rufus sat back in his chair. "I won't, Cloud."

Once the door closed, Tseng stood by Rufus's right shoulder. "Has the timeline been moved up for your plans for the Presidency?

Rufus ran his finger through some papers. "My father may allow the marriage, but my firstborn would be taken from me for sure. After my betrayal, all my future actions will be suspect. It would be easier to kill me off and raise my child as the next Shinra heir."

Tseng relaxed in his at-ease stance. "If this fails, we will all die."

Rufus rolled a pen on the desk. "If it succeeds, all my dreams will come true. I'm willing to take the chance. Are the Turks with me?"

Tseng nodded to the surrounding shadows. "To the last man and woman, Sir."

XXX

(Cid/Turk Vincent)

Caught while on his knees, Vincent Valentine's serene smile made its appearance under the gun barrel resting on his forehead. "What are you waiting for? Shoot."

Cid Highwind squinted at the pretty and raised the gun with a frown. "And fuck up the beauty given by the Gods? Ah'm a sinner, but Ah ain't that much of an asshole. Ah recognize the suit. Turk, are ya?"

Vincent fiddled with his collar. "Yes, I am. This is an official mission-"

Cid waved a hand in-between packing a box. "Poke wherever the fuck ya want. Palmer fired mah sorry ass today, so Ah could give a fuck about what ya find."

Vincent should be returning to his search, but he found himself speaking more with the strange man. "Fired? What will you do for work?"

Cid shrugged as he picked up his cardboard box. "Ah'm a rocket scientist, but Ah'm also an engineer in a few different fields. Worse comes to worst, Ah'll go back to bein' a professor."

Vincent laughed a little. "Professor… you?"

Cid goodnaturedly grinned back. "Don't make me get mah ruler out. Country don't mean stupid. Bet there's a few of yer Turk friends who'll prove mah point."

Vincent agreed with a nod when his phone rang with a particular ringtone.

Cid noticed Vincent pale and fidget in place. "Hey, yer call seems important. We're not enemies and Ah ain't a snitch. Answer yer phone."

Vincent tapped on his phone and swore as he forgot his phone was on speaker. A child's high wail filled the room. "Kadaj! Why is Loz crying now?"

As the wail was muffled by small hands, a child's scared voice came from the phone. "Loz is hungry. I know we're not supposed to call you when you're working, but I didn't know what to do!"

Vincent straightened with concern. "Hungry? I filled the refrigerator with groceries and made a whole loaf of sandwiches for Loz before I left. Where's Stacey?"

Another child's voice spoke. "Stacey left with all our food. Kadaj tried to stop her and she slugged him. It's not a lie, Kadaj! Father would see anyway when he came home. When are you coming home, Father?"

Vincent's gaze became deadly. "Right now."

Cid surprised Vincent by joining him as he exited. "A shitty situation if Ah ever heard one. Who the fuck steals from the mouths of babies?"

Vincent walked past the sliding glass entry door. "Dead people. Very, very dead people."

Cid stopped at the sidewalk and scowled as Vincent's alert eyes scanned the parking lot. "Nope. Yer not going to steal a car. Ah know most of the employees here and they're all honest hard-workin' folk. If ya need to get to yer babies, Ah'll drive ya."

A half hour later, Vincent was holding his crying triplets. "I'm here. It's all right. Kadaj, let me see your sweet face."

The five-year-old boy turned his face away. "I'm fine, Father."

Cid came from his blind side and rested an ice pack on the bruised cheek. "Lyin' ain't going to make it hurt less. Hold still. Ah ain't going to hurt ya."

The long-haired Vincent lookalike tugged Cid's shirt. "Who are you? Did you bring pancakes?"

Cid plucked the tyke up and brought him to the grocery bags on the counter. "Ah am Cid Highwind, formerly employed by the Shinra Aeronautical Division. Ah brought all the fixin's fer pancakes and real maple syrup. Ah hear yer Father hates the fake shit."

Loz wiped his nose. "You're nice. Stacey was nice, then she hit Kadaj, and stole my sandwiches."

Cid cleaned Loz's face. "Mah name ain't Stacey. Ah don't hit young'uns and Ah buy mah own sandwiches."

Vincent sat on the couch with Kadaj on his lap. "My wife, Lucrecia, left us a year ago. Our son, Sephiroth, is serving in the military. He was supposed to be our first and last child. When Lucrecia became pregnant, after so long, I considered it a blessing. She felt like her life was over. When the triplets were born, she acted like they didn't exist. I tried my best, but I received our divorce papers a month ago. She wants no further contact with us."

Cid helped Yazoo to peel a banana. "How is Sephiroth handling it?"

Vincent motioned towards a picture of a smiling silver-haired man hugging his smaller brothers. "Sephiroth is my rock. He babysits when he's home on leave. The boys adore him."

Cid tapped the counter. "There's love in this home. That's fer sure. What's missin' is security. Good thing Cid Highwind is here and currently unemployed."

Vincent shook his head as Kadaj rested against his chest. "You babysitting? That's even more unbelievable than you being a professor. Leave and forget my address, Highwind. It would be safer for you."

Cid brought a mixing bowl out to make pancake batter. "Highwinds don't do safe. Never have. Never will. Come on, Vince. You'll be doin' me a favor. The more time spent with yer young 'uns, the less time Ah spend around cheap booze and loose women."

Loz snacked on some chips. "What do you do with loose women?"

Cid mixed the batter with a strong hand. "The same thing ya do with tight women."

Spying his son's confused expression, Vincent waved his hand. "Never mind, Loz. Cid, I don't know you. All my past sitters were vetted through the Turks."

Cid set the bowl down with a clatter and nailed Vincent with a sky-blue gaze. "Bull. Shit. You had a mission in mah department, which means the Turks researched the fuck out of all the employees. You probably know the name of mah second girlfriend's best friend."

Vincent glanced away with a small smile. "Maisie Jane Terfunkle."

Cid held a hand to his heart. "Sweet Maisie Jane. She married mah best friend, Roy, and had six kids. Ah would've had that life if Ah didn't have a different calling. Can't say Ah'm sorry Ah skipped it."

Vincent kissed Kadaj's head. "I suppose the vetting did me no good either. Stacey should never have been allowed near my babies. The Turk Director and I will be having words tomorrow."

Cid flipped the pancakes. "These will be ready soon. Do yer boys know how to set the table?"

Yazoo threw his banana peel in the trash and moved a step stool over. "I'll do it, Kadaj. Rest your cheek."

Kadaj pouted against Vincent. "I'm not weak, Father. Stacey was going to hit Loz. I protected my brother."

Vincent cuddled his son and petted Loz's head. "I am proud of you all. I will make this right. I promise you."

As the family ate at the dinner table, Vincent peered at a chewing Cid Highwind. "You like me. You liked me when we met. After discovering I had children, you still like me. You realize I will probably eliminate Stacey and you are content with my decision. You will hide my secrets and keep my sons safe."

Cid forked another pancake to Loz. "You can read hearts too? That's damned handy, Vince. Ah fergot to say Ah'm a licensed pilot. Ah can fly near anythin' that soars in the air. It's great when ya have to make a quick getaway with yer babies."

Vincent viciously stabbed his pancakes. "Too perfect. How do I know you aren't working for my enemies?"

Cid reached over the sticky table and held Vincent's hand. "Ya read mah personnel file. One thing Ah can't stand is back-stabbin' bullshit. Ah'll leave befer Ah stoop to it."

Vincent's lovely eyes filled with understanding. "Oh, Cid. It's why Palmer fired you."

Cid let Vincent's hand go and returned to his pancakes. "His loss. Ah had five of Shinra's competitors call me right after Ah was fired. Ah could be workin' right now if Ah want to."

Vincent nibbled on his pancake. "So all this talk about babysitting was for nothing?"

Cid added more syrup to his plate. "Great thing about technology. Ah can do ninety-five percent of mah work at home."

Vincent smiled his most becoming smile. "Where is home?"

Cid tossed his phone to the crafty Turk. "Quit shinin' at me. Ya got me hooked. Reel me in already. Check mah gallery. Ah've been takin' pictures of the house and surroundin' land."

Vincent's eyes widened as he swiped through the photos. "You're a bachelor. Why did you buy such a big house? There's even a separate in-laws house. It's perfect for-"

Cid wiped his mouth. "When Sephiroth is on leave? Mah neighbor raises miniature horses. It's the best of both worlds. You can pet all the baby horses ya want and not have to deal with any of the horseshit."

Vincent closed his eyes as he felt his children's excited gazes on him. "There is a proper courtship period. I sound old-fashioned, but I don't care. I eloped with Lucrecia and always regretted it."

Cid picked up his plate. "A year from the proposal. Right? Boys, clean up after yerselves."

Vincent placed Cid's phone down, and smiled as his kids followed Cid's example, and set their plates in the sink. "Wash up and brush your teeth. I'll tuck you in when you're ready."

Kadaj touched his cheek and winced. "Cid, too?"

Cid rested his brawny arms on the counter and grinned. "Sure. Wash up first. Ah don't deal with sticky."

When Cid sat next to him, Vincent handed the man his phone back. "What a strange night. It's like a bizarre dream."

Cid noticed Vincent tense when a different ringtone came from Vincent's phone. "Sounds like the Turks found the sandwich stealer. Vincent Valentine, will you marry me? Yes, it's all too soon and I'm springin' it on ya. If Ah have to wait the proper courtship period, Ah want it to start now."

Vincent thought to hide all he knew, but his heart spoke for him. "Yes, Captain Cid Highwind. I will marry you, your pension, your highly profiting stock portfolio, and your million gil life insurance policy."

Cid cracked a smile as they exchanged soft kisses. "Heh. Ah bet the life insurance was the first thing listed in mah file. Wait until Ah put the pool in the backyard befer you off me. The boys will have a ball when the miniature horses break through the fence again."

Vincent held Cid's unshaven face. "I will use all my Turk resources to keep you safe."

Cid kissed Vincent's cheek. "Ah left mah gun in the car. Ya got extra firearms jest in case the sandwich stealer has friends?"

Vincent stood up and nonchalantly slid a bookcase over.

Cid whistled at the firepower hidden there. "Well, Ah know where to go when Ah want to start a war."

Vincent moved the bookcase back. "I taught the boys proper firearm care and they know guns are not toys."

Cid nodded. "Lucky fer Stacey. She could've gotten a bazooka rocket up her ass."

Vincent swayed towards the kids' bedroom. "She may still."

Cid joined Vincent. "Nah. Too fast. She stole from our babies. Stacey needs to get dealt hardcore."

Vincent kissed his Captain. "Our?"

Cid smiled at the waiting boys in their beds. "Ah proposed and you accepted, Vince. Ah set meself down a path. Ah don't ever go back."

Vincent turned on the rotating stars lamp for Loz. "Good to know."

XXX

(Reno/Yazoo, Tseng/Kadaj)

Yazoo wrung his hands as his frantic eyes scanned the blood-soaked room. He pleaded to the wheezing woman on the floor. "Please don't die. I don't know what to do! I was just curious about where Reno lived. I didn't know you lived here too. I killed all the bad men, so stop dying. Pleeeeaase."

The woman feebly pointed to the bedroom. "Lea… Baby… Save…"

Once the lady breathed her last, Yazoo slowly opened the bedroom door. "Hello? Oh, hello. You look like Reno. She said your name is Lea. I'm supposed to save you."

Yazoo heard sirens coming down the street and his ingrained Turk instincts kicked in.

Hastily gathering needed supplies, Yazoo snatched up the wide-eyed baby and exited through the nursery window. "Your mommy couldn't keep you safe, but I can. She asked me to, so I will. I'll show you to Father. He'll know what to do."

A half a day later, in Rocket Town, Cid Highwind was shaking his head at the drama in his house. "Babies are a blessin', Yazoo, but the baby ain't yours. He's Reno's. If ya return Lea now, Reno might be grateful and jest cut off yer hand."

Yazoo crooned to the smiling baby. "Lea's mother asked me to save him. She couldn't keep him safe. Reno couldn't keep him safe. He wasn't even there. I can keep Lea safe."

Vincent patted Yazoo's arm. "Lea is not a doll. He is a living breathing baby. He is also a born Turk. His mind shall wander to places you cannot follow."

Yazoo held Vincent's hand. "Help me, Father. I will hide the best I can, but I will need your advice in the future."

Kadaj stood in the doorway. "I'll go with Yazoo. He needs the support and I need to get away from the nasty Turk Director."

Vincent fretted in silence until Cid held his shoulders. "My babies are in danger of their own making. Tseng would have left you alone, Kadaj, if you had left him alone."

Kadaj crossed his arms against his chest. "My actions were meant to be off-putting. How was I supposed to know they would turn him on? Turks are weird. Except for you, Father."

Vincent reached for his man's hand on his shoulder. "I sense your inner fear, Cid. I will not be leaving you. My sons are grown men. Their minds are set. This journey is for them alone."

Loz entered through the back door from the Foundry. "I'm still mentally connected to Kadaj and Yazoo. If they need help, I'll let you know, Father."

Vincent smiled as Yazoo rested the baby in his arms. "Farewell for now, Lea. Take care of my sons as they take care of you."

The group gasped as two small fireballs were thrown from the grinning baby and barely missed Cid.

Yazoo nervously clapped his hands. "It's a good thing fire won't hurt me or Kadaj. Right?"

Cid fingered his singed work apron. "Poppy ain't fireproof, Lea. Remember that."

Lea giggled and waved his hands.

xxx

A few months later, Yazoo was racing through the narrow streets of Junon. "Stop following me! I don't know what you're talking about!"

Reno took a shortcut and cut off Yazoo at the end of an alley. "Of all the shitty places to hide my kid. Fuckin' Junon? It's the one place I know better than Midgar. Ya got some balls under that dress, yo."

Yazoo hitched his skirt up as his enhanced eyes scanned for an escape. "I stopped here for supplies. I don't have a baby."

Yazoo winced as his grocery bag burst. Baby food and diapers spilled onto the filthy ground. "Now look what you did. I worked hard to earn that gil."

Reno rested his EMR on his shoulder and waited for Yazoo to gather the supplies back up. "Doin' what? Strippin'?"

Reno's handsome face hardened when Yazoo refused to look at him. "The fuck you did. Did you show these Junon pieces of shit what's mine? TELL ME!"

Yazoo held his hand up to shield against the Turk's anger. "I was a waitress. That's all. The owner asked me to strip, but I wouldn't. He didn't care when I told him I was a man. I was fired when I said no. I did it for Lea. Everything I've done is for Lea."

Reno swung his rod back-and-forth. "Consider your misery over then. I'm taking my son back. Lea was born from Turks. He should be raised with Turks. No advice from Daddy Vincent is gonna be enough, yo."

Yazoo clutched his dress front. "No. Lea's mother asked me to keep him safe. She couldn't. You couldn't. I can and I will."

Yazoo's punch landed Reno three streets over

The redhead Turk grinned to the smoggy sky. "I was never one for foreplay, Yazoo, but you give the best. Give me more, yo."

When Reno popped back up, he narrowly blocked Yazoo's high kick to the face. "Don't be doin' this in a dress, Yaz. Ya showin' the crowd what's mine and I'll have to kill them all. Don't make me work overtime, Doll."

Yazoo noted Reno's serious expression and hurriedly yanked his skirt down. "Threatening civilians. You're the worst. I'm going home to my son. Don't follow me."

Knowing Reno would ignore his order, Yazoo used his rusty abilities, and sped at blinding speed to his rented apartment with Kadaj. The silver-haired man was about to call out to his brother when he heard Kadaj cry out.

Running to the back room, Yazoo beheld a thrusting Tseng ravishing his near naked brother

Flat on his back on the floor, Kadaj's emerald eyes were rolled back in his head as Tseng held his thighs open.

The Wutaiian spoke low in Kadaj's ear. "You should be heavy with my child soon. No more running then."

Yazoo covered his mouth, and slowly backed out of the room, straight into Reno's arms. "You Turks are animals. My brother and I have a right to our freedom."

Reno's no-doubt snarky reply was cut off by his son's soft crying.

Yazoo disappeared from his arms and he found the Remnant in the makeshift nursery. "No windows with a secret exit in the wall. Not bad."

Yazoo cradled the teary baby. "I didn't give birth to him, but Lea's mine. His mother gave him to me."

Reno dodged a small fireball and pointed at his frowning son. "Hey, none of that! I looked for you. Swear! You were safe with Yaz and I had to hunt down your mom's killers, yo."

Yazoo kissed Lea's cheek. "Did you catch them all and make them pay?"

Reno smiled as Lea gripped his finger. "Yeah. It's why Tseng's so pent up. I wouldn't let anyone else do the interrogations. Revenge was all mine, yo."

Yazoo rocked the baby. "What was the name of Lea's mother?"

Reno kissed Lea's forehead. "Her Turk name was Cissnei. Her true name was Audrey. It isn't right you took her son and didn't know that much, yo."

Yazoo placed Lea back into the bassinet. "I'm sorry for that. I am not sorry for keeping him safe while you ran around the Planet killing bad people."

The pair were disturbed as a tearful Kadaj stomped past while hurriedly dressing himself. "I don't care if I'm pregnant now! I can raise the baby by myself! I don't need you!"

Tseng's muscled arm came from nowhere to wrap around Kadaj's waist and yank him back to the back room. "All of Wutai is waiting for me to give them an heir. If you don't want my crazy ninja sister, Yuffie, hounding you for the rest of your days, you will stay by my side. It's safer for our child."

Yazoo waited for a secret signal from Kadaj. When he didn't get it, he observed Tseng drag his sullen brother back to the bedroom. "Kadaj's contrary actions just make everything worse. Turk relationships are so odd."

Reno kissed the back of Yazoo's head. "Yeah. Compared to them, we're downright normal. Still not giving my son up? Fine. We're getting married like normal couples do, yo."

Yazoo edged away from Reno and closer to the crib. "Like I would agree. Where's my ring?"

Yazoo gasped as Reno raised his own left hand. The glittering square cut emerald caught the light. "Sneaky Turk. I bet you stole from the churchgoers on Sunday as a child."

Reno nuzzled Yazoo's cheek. "Kid gotta learn the trade somewhere, yo."

Yazoo turned his head so his lips met Reno's. "I want my first time to be on our wedding night, but Kadaj told me there are other things we can do. Can you teach me?"

Reno double-checked Lea was asleep before he rocked Yazoo with sensuous kisses. "Sure, Yaz. I'll teach ya everything this sneaky Turk knows, yo."

The Turk's hands paused with their caressing of Yazoo's slim body. "It's killin' me. What's with the drag? It's hot as fuck, but it ain't a crime to have a cock, yo."

Yazoo tried to brush Reno's hands away. "It's easier to hide as Lea's mother instead of his father. Apparently, it's more acceptable for a single female to be taking care of a baby then a male. I got tired of strangers accusing me of kidnapping Lea."

Reno ground their crotches together. "Ya did kidnap Lea. Left me high-and-dry with nothin' left to do but the killing, yo."

Yazoo steadied himself as Reno pushed him against a wall. "Serves you right. You flirted with me all across Midgar, while you had a family waiting for you at home."

Reno covered Yazoo's swan-like neck with kisses. "Me and Cissnei had a kid, but we weren't a couple. It's impossible with two Turks. We thought too much alike. I told her about you. She said you were too good for me. I thought so too, until ya stole my kid, yo."

Yazoo glared at his Turk. "For the last time, Cissnei gave Lea to me. I can still disappear again, Reno. One blink and me and Lea are gone."

Reno trapped the Remnant by resting his hands on either side of Yazoo's head. "Like I said, foreplay isn't for me. You manage to change my mind every time, Doll. The way you keep pushing my buttons. We're not going to make it to the wedding night. We can throw down right now, Yazoo. You take my son and leave over my dead body and I guarantee this Turk won't die easily."

Yazoo registered Reno's cold stare and lack of accent. His soft hands were quick to massage the Turk's simmering rage away. "Shhh. You'll wake up Lea. You took my teasing the wrong way. I won't leave you again. Promise. If you want to love me, we have to go to the other room."

Reno's ocean-blue eyes lost their bite and his grin returned. "Sure thing, Doll. Let's get this marriage started, yo."

Yazoo exhaled with relief as Reno carried him to the next room. "Turks are so touchy. Without Father's teachings, Kadaj and I would be completely lost."

Reno's grin widened as Yazoo reclined on the bed. "I'll thank him when we visit Rocket Town tomorrow. We got a shitload to celebrate, yo!"

XXX

(Cloud/Reno) (A/N: I seriously miss writing these two. Hope the remake inspires my muse.)

Cloud steadied himself as the redhead Turk psyched up for another pass. "Let us by! If you want to fight, we can take it outside. You're destroying the flowers."

The redhead rested his weapon on his bony shoulder. "Shit! You really don't remember me. I bet Sis didn't clue you in. Did she? Why you stealing my man, Aerith? Tseng not enough for you?"

Cloud didn't know the stranger, but the change in accent registered deep in his heart. "Leave Aerith out of this. I promised to protect her."

The Turk spat on the floor. "Damn, Sis. You want to turn back the fucking clock with a different body. It's sick."

Aerith shook her head. "You don't understand. It's better this way. Cloud seems content with this life. I can make him happy."

Reno brought his EMR down and scorched the floorboards. "I'm ending this bullshit right now, Aerith. You need to meet Tseng at your Mama's before he loses his shit. My ass is going to get reacquainted with Cloud's monster cock."

Aerith stepped forward to argue, but her traitorous eyes veered down to Cloud's clothed crotch. "Tseng doesn't own me and Cloud told me he's single. He's free to date whoever he chooses."

Reno gave the secret Cetra a cold staredown. "Go home, Aerith. This was just a weekly check-in. Tseng wasn't going to bring you back to the labs. It was below the belt to tell that to Cloud."

Aerith's uneasy gaze failed to meet Cloud's. "I didn't tell him that. Cloud came to his own conclusions about the situation."

Reno pointed to the confused Shinra soldiers with his EMR. "Escort Aerith to her mom's house. Relax, Cloud, Sis has hung out with these three since they were kids. They know the penalty for injuring Tseng's property."

Aerith was quick to defend the trio of frightened soldiers. "Cut it out, Reno! It's okay, Boys. I'll convince the Turk Director you treated me well. I'll see you later, Cloud."

Cloud lowered his sword. "Will you? I don't understand what's happening at all. I feel like I fell through the roof again."

Aerith kissed Cloud's cheek. "Reno will fill you in on what you've been missing. I truly meant well."

Once Aerith and her escort left, strange words flowed from an astonished Cloud's mouth. "The Second-in-Command is mean. I don't want to talk to him."

Reno slid into Cloud's private space and warmed a pale face with kisses. "There's my Spiky. Hojo mind-fucked the hell out of you, but ya found a space in your head to hide. Don't be flinchin,' Cloud. We got a lot of catchin' up to do, yo."

Cloud blinked as he found himself flat on his back and staring through the ceiling. "Don't get mad. I don't think I'm attracted to men."

Reno gleefully undressed them both. "You're right. You were never attracted to men. You were only attracted to me. I screwed with your head big-time until ya cried to Zack. Then I had to put up or shut up. I put up and you made me shut up with your big surprise, yo."

Cloud's glowing eyes flicked down to his private parts. "Why do you keep talking about it? It's an average size. I think."

Reno hunkered down to lick Cloud's cock stiff. "It's obvious you haven't fucked since you escaped Hojo. You would have been told different right quick. Wake up, SOLDIER! Time to service your Turk, yo!"

Cloud's eyebrows raised along with his penis. "I guess Turks can tell the truth about some things. I'm still not sure about this."

Reno suddenly disappeared from Cloud's body and the nude Turk stood halfway across the church in the flowers. "Sorry, Spiky. I'm just so damned happy you're alive. I get my heart back. I can wait until you remember more. I never went for that rape shit. If the other person isn't willin,' it ain't no fun, yo."

Cloud stood up and joined Reno in the flowers. "It's not that. I may not be a true First Class SOLDIER, but I do have all the enhancements. It's why I haven't had sex with anyone. I don't want to break you."

Reno relaxed and wrapped his long arms around Cloud's shoulders. "Lookin' out for your Turk. It's sweet. No worries, Spiky. I'm Turk through and through. Rock my world, Cloud. This body can take it. Swear."

Cloud gently laid Reno down among the blooms and tentatively kissed along a toned body. "Your skin is so pale. You must bruise easily."

Reno returned Cloud's caresses and kisses with his own. "They only last for a day at the most. I hope yours will last for a week. I loved when my Cloud marked me."

Cloud stopped with the kisses and rested his forehead on Reno's chest. "I'm not your Cloud anymore. I don't know who I am."

Reno raised Cloud's head so he could kiss his lips. "I'll help you find out who you want to be. Not who everyone else wants you to be."

Cloud found himself between Reno's thighs. "I don't remember doing this. Isn't there more stuff to do?"

Reno held Cloud's cock and pointed it in the right direction. "When I heard it might be you, I prepped myself before coming here."

Cloud gripped Reno's upper arms in an unbreakable hold. "Did you let those soldiers see you or touch you? You're mine! You said so!"

Reno hissed from the sweet pain and brushed his nose with Cloud's. "Gonna need those arms, Spiky. No one's fucked this Turk since you disappeared. True blue even in death, yo."

Cloud released his Turk's arms and kissed the developing bruises. "Sorry, Reno. I don't know where that came from. I'm not dead. I'm here. I won't leave you again."

Reno held fast to Cloud as the pseudo-SOLDIER pierced his ready body with one thrust. "Don't make promises you can't keep. Yeah, Baby. I missed this so much."

Cloud tenderly kissed the tears from Reno's cheeks. "I didn't know Turks could cry. I like it. Show me more."

Reno cried out as Cloud hammered his willing body. "Don't stop. I'll show you everything, yo."

Cloud's hips stilled as his forgotten phone rang. He looked over to his abandoned pants. "It's Tifa. She's probably worried sick."

Reno ran his fingers through Cloud's hair. "Tifa's the biggest liar of all. I would have found you sooner if she 'fessed up, yo."

Cloud kissed Reno's cheek. "Don't kill her. Please. Tifa had her reasons. I don't forgive her, but I don't want her dead."

Reno groaned and moved his hips to meet his man's. "Quit bein' pretty, Cloud. It fucks up my killin' mojo. I'll leave her be for now. Finish inside me, Spiky. Warm me up real good."

Cloud grunted as he released into his Turk. "It's not going down. I want to do it again. Can we?"

Reno happily licked the sweat from Cloud's neck. "Turk through and through. Go for it, Spiky. I'll take everything you got, yo."


End file.
